100 Days of Grief

"There is something you must always remember.  You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." -Winnie the Pooh Today's actual prompt since I'm doing two in one days is about your other children and their grief.  The heading says "be loving toward your children".  When I first lost Hope I was so lost in my own mind that I didn't think of others grief.  I didn't think that this was affecting more than just me.  I figured the kids wouldn't understand.  We talked to them about her dying but they didn't really seem to understand.  It didn't really phase them.  Hannah cried but I thought it was more because she was tired. Now as I look back I wish I had been more compassionate and understanding with both of them.  Henry was still in school at that time and I remember getting an email from his teacher about a week later.  She told me that Henry was struggling at school and she took him aside...

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy practice compassion." -Dalai Lama I skipped yesterdays blog.  I was just at the end of what I had to give.  I didn't do much yesterday but the constant moving and doing from the rest of the week caught up to me.  I can't sit without feeling guilty now.  I feel like this week has ben filled with guilt.  Guilt that I'm not helping others.  Guilt that I haven't been a great mom to my kids.  Guilt that I didn't do my blog last night.  I know in this blog it keeps saying to have compassion towards yourself but I feel guilty.  I can't seem to shake the guilt.  It's like this bag of heavy rocks that I'm carrying with me through the days.  I tell myself that I've been through hard things and that I'm doing the best I can but it hasn't seemed to help.  I've been trying to change my thoughts but when I get so tired it's very hard to do that...