100 Days of Grief

"It is not in the going down that we demonstrate resilience, it is in the getting up again." -Ingrid Poulson Today didn't get any easier.  In fact I believe it got incredibly harder.  Yesterday I was swimming in the emotions at the end of the day and I vocalized to Nick that sometimes I wonder if we did insemination or an IUI would it decrease the risk of losing another baby.  As you can tell I'm still not ready to shut the door on having more kids.  Recently I got to spend an afternoon with a friend and she has a cute little 4 month old girl.  She let me hold her and play with her as she made lunch and then I was able to hold her as she fell asleep in my arms.  It felt so good.  Just so right.  I loved those moments of holding a sleeping baby or how they grab at everything trying to experience the world.  I know there are hard moments with kids and I'm not saying that it would be all rainbows but I miss having a baby.  I want a baby.   Then last ni