100 Days of Grief

"My life is about ups and downs, great joys and great losses." -Isabel Allende I went and spent part of my day with a good friend today.  We talked about our losses and the hard things we've faced.  I really do feel like during the everyday life I'm okay, but then the moment I sit down and someone asks me how I'm doing I still realize that this is still painful and hard for me.  I still have things that I'm struggling with.  I can't seem to be okay with the idea that I'm done having children.  I'm not okay with fact that everything was going "right" and I still lost Hope.  I still struggle understanding why God told me to have hope and that through Him all things are possible.  It's still hard to think of what I went through and feel at peace about it.  I know I've learned a lot and I think I've become a better person because of it but sometimes I wonder was this the only way to learn those lessons? My friend aske