100 Days of Grief

"You must be at the end of your rope.  I felt a tug." -Unkown Today I laughed.  Like a real laugh.  I've tried to chuckle or force laughs before now because it was socially acceptable but today I had a real laugh and smiled.  Automatically I felt guilty.  I felt guilty because I felt like in some way I was disgracing Hope.  Like she would feel sad because I was happy without her.  It was really confusing.  I want to be happy but I don't want to move on without her.  In my support group there was a lady that said something that really helped me.  She said that sometimes we think that if we let go of the pain and the sadness that means we will forget our baby.  She said that in time we will find that isn't true.  It was a light bulb moment that it was okay to be happy or laugh about something it didn't mean I was forgetting Hope.  I still feel conflicted but it was nice to remind myself that no matter what feeling or emotion I'm feeling, it's