Showing posts from January 14, 2020

Day 20 of 100 Days of Grief

"I slide to my knees and say, 'Please let this be over.' Then I'm not ready for it to be over." -Andre Agassi This quote really resonates with me today.  I feel like I'm so tired of the 'hardness' of life right now but at the same time I feel like I cling to it.  If I don't then it means that I move on from my loss and I don't want to do that.  I want to bring her with me in the future but lose the pain of her loss.  I've been thinking about if there is something I can do that will bring her with me in the future without bringing a lot of pain with it.   Did you know that I would have been 20 weeks this week?  I would have been half way there.  I would have had my ultrasound to find out if she were a girl or a boy.  I'm still sure she would have been a girl.  I would have probably started feeling her move too.  I loved feeling my babies move.  It was the strangest feeling in the world but it was wonderful.  It's har