100 Days of Grief

"Better than a thousand hollow words is one word that bring you peace." -Buddha One thing that I've struggled with and I know many others that have miscarried early in their pregnancy is what to call your loss.  Even saying "my loss" sounds wrong to me.  It sounds too inhuman. Today's prompt is about what words you will and won't use when describing your "loss".   I had an amazing general doctor helping me through this whole process.  He is my general doctor and I'll call him Dr. C. for privacy issues.  Dr. C. was the most compassionate and concerned doctor I've ever had.  I've seen him through all three of my miscarriages.  Each time he reminded me that what was happening wasn't my fault and that there was nothing I could have done that would have hurt the baby.  The thing that I really loved about Dr. C. is he that he never called my baby by all the medical terms the ultrasound tech and my OBGYN called her.  Wor...

"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world." -Unknown Todays prompt is about mourning.  In this book they talk about how there is a difference between grief and mourning.  It says, "Grief is the constellation of internal thoughts and feelings you have when you lose someone you love and value...Mourning, on the other hand, is the outward expression of your grief. It is an active process." I didn't realize there was a difference between mourning and grief.  I've had so many people tell me that I need to grieve and all I could think was "what does that even mean?!" I felt like they were trying to tell me that I needed to feel the pain and it felt a bit like a slap in the face.  I felt the pain every moment of every day.  I was swimming in the pain.  I think what people mean to say is that I needed to mourn.  And who knows, maybe they didn't see all the emotions going on inside me because I was trying so h...

"So it's true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love." - E. A. Bucchianeri I've been trying to make my way through my grief and I've posted a few posts on social media about parts of it.  I feel like I've only posted about the parts I feel "safe" to post.  The parts that don't make me feel like a terrible person.  But I'm realizing grief isn't pretty.  The "grieving" part isn't where you come out a better person a moment later having learned all the lessons.  The part I'm in is painful, it's ugly, and it's not something I 100% want to share.  It's hard to admit you're angry, you're mad, you don't like people and all the feelings you have that "good" people don't have.  Please be patient as I show my very human side and try to express my feelings about what I'm going through.   A friend recommended a book called, " Healing Your Grieving Hear...